Sprout Of Sadness

My heart feels like it could no longer carry this weight,

it has been too much this week, day 7/8.

I’m full of sad- and loneliness,

even my brain is a mess.

Can’t stop this pain in my body,

I’m feeling used and shoddy.

I’ve got nobody to talk with,

only this book to tell my myth.

I don’t know where this sprout of sadness comes from,

but I know I want to root out this scum.



Everything sucks right now.

What’s wrong, what’s fucking going on?

Am depressed.

There’s no railing, where I can hold myself.

There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, which leeds me.

There’s no hand, which is holding my one while walking along the abyss.

Hero, where fucking are you?

Imagination never ends.

When I’m thinking about you – my brain stops.

It’s irrational to “think” about you, it’s more like “hearting on you.”

I remember all the places we visited together. Keep them in my heart.

It’s just not fair that it seems like you have forgotten them.

Can’t you remember the hill, your car, our tree all the times we laid in our beds together?

My heart seems to cry when you don’t share these imagination with me, even if it’s over.

Imagination never ends.

Trolle des Waldes.

Die Welt verneigt sich um mich herum,

die Bäume sprechen Bände.

Sie beugen tief und halten fest,

und um mich ‘rum nichts als Hände.

Dünne grüne Finger,

wissen nicht wonach zu greifen.

Sie peitschen schnell von links nach rechts,

Als wollen sie ein Tier wegschleifen.

Die Kolosse drohend über mir,

türmen sich auf wie große Berge.

Weiß sind sie und blass,

alle unter ihnen Zwerge.

Ich weiß nicht wohin,

worauf mein Aug’ ich richten soll,

vor mir braun und groß,

dort steht des Waldes Troll.

Ich stehe hier und wünsche mir,

nichts mehr, als einer von ihnen zu sein.

Doch immenoch bin ich das Monster,

und stehe zwischen ihnen… ganz allein.


Ahhh. I’m just so tired.

I can’t do anything.

Loneliness & Illness are creeping up on me.

Hurry up – destroy the shadow.

It’s hanging right over your head.


Kick it, shoot it, beat it, kill it!

You’ve done it, right?

Dead shadow’s lying in the edge of your room.

You thought it would be good for you.

But now,

you’re all alone again.

Nothing’s there anymore.

Stop searching.

Give up.

All together now.

Candle is burning.
It smells good.
PC is lighted.
It makes a buzzing sound.
In my tooth is a little piece of raspberry.
A small splinter has took a seat in my pullover.
It's annoying me.
I look for it.
Now it's gone.
For ever.
People are nerve-racking.
I do not want to stress myself anymore.
I want to cut my heart out of my body.
Stop it.

Nowhere man please listen,

you don’t know what you’re missing.

Liebe ist etwas, was man immer bei sich tragen sollte,
auch wenn man nicht weiß wo man sie gerad’ zeigen soll,
gibt es immer einen der sie bräuchte & auch wollte,
‘drum zeig’ deine Liebe auch denen, die dir begegnen mit Groll.


This day I wasted a lot of time but I didn’t know why.

The clock rand and I moved in slowmotion.

Now the day’s over and I haven’t done anything worth to name.

My clock rings in six and an half hour.

I should sleep, but I’m totally awake.

I’ll try to meet anybody in dreamlands.


Do you know this feeling, when you’re totally tired?

Your eyes just want to shut, your mouth is dry, your extremities are massive. But you just cannot sleep, you’re frightened, in your head is a high-way full of thoughts. Nothing stands still, in your head.

You just want to stop your head, take a sedative, to bang it against a wall, to calm it down. You just want to hunt this terrible ghost in your mind and leave all the fucking rest behind.


When someone says “I’m a liar!” Is this sentence also a lie?

Does it mean the opposite of it?

So you cannot admit that you lied, because it would always be a lie?

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